people “know” you.

i certainly don’t know myself anymore, really. so many things have happened recently. i can’t begin to wrap my head around it. i’m doing things in ways i never have before. and not in a good way.

i’m becoming something i never thought i would be. “that” girl. that girl that sleeps over at her exes’ house and gives herself to him, but only for a little while. and somehow justifies it. the girl divides her time between many guys, but yet never gives herself completely to any of them. they all have these promises and honesties and beauty but it’s not the right promises and honesties and beauty. so, in the end, she feels used and abused and wanting refuge.

but i don’t know where that is.

it felt right.

but somehow it didn’t.

i don’t know.